Happiness does not make us grateful, but gratitude will make us happy!

Today was a quiet day. Meghan and I went to church. And I studied her.
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Joyce, Meghan's holistic doctor, tells me that the highest of all emotions is joy. Joy is where Meghan lives. Each and everyday, she finds joy......in a card, in a song, in a person, in a hug. I visit joy but I don't stay there! Joyce also says that the second highest of all emotions, is gratitude. So, if I can't live in joy, then I will at least live in gratitude. So forgive my indulgence, but these are a few things that I am grateful for:
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Family....the first place you turn for support, encouragement, charity, compassion, and most of all, hope!
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Cameron and Brianna......the enduring siblings who have handled our situation with grace, maturity, compassion and trust. I love them and am so proud of how they handle themselves, how they show love, and who they are at their core.
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Spouse.....My eternal companion who is my equal partner, my confidant and my strength. I could not bear this without you by my side!
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Friends....the glue that holds together the fragmented parts. So many in this category, who have served our family again, and again and again. "Thank you" just doesn't seem sincere enough.
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My Sisters.....the women that I wouldn't survive without. They hold my hand and my heart through the really rough stuff. They hold my feet to the fire when needed. I am indebted.
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Colleagues......Stephan's co-workers at Fisher Price who individually and collectively, have taken on our cause as their own. They are more than peers, more than colleagues, they are family.
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Young friends of Meghan's..... Youth who are impressive in their loyalty, kindness, dedication and support of a friend. These girls are fabulous examples of "love one another". I am so grateful that my daughter has such incredible friends. She needs you!
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Meghan's School.......Meghan was in school for only 3 months yet her teachers, counselors and other staff have encircled her with such love , support and tenderness. Thank you.
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Strangers........Friends that I have not yet met, who have embraced Meghan and our family in their hearts with compassion and love.
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Inspirational words......When we were trying to choose between 2 atypical treatment options, we were acutely aware that our choices could bring about neurological damage that, as parents, we would have to own. A friend said to me, "Helena, you just don't have that much power!" (Did you know that I would need to face that fear, Jeff?)
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The Gospel Of Jesus Christ.......25 years of lessons and talks about not escaping earthly afflictions and problems, but carefully preparing ourselves to meet them with patience and faith. Learning how to use the power of the Atonement to bring peace into each situation.
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Doctors and Therapists......The men and women who have dedicated themselves to a specialty that blesses Meghan's life, and gives her options that were not available even a decade ago.
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Antibiotic Resistant Bacteria........An unusual one but being admitted to a hospital with a diagnosis of VRE grants you a private room on a shared-room pediatric floor.
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Unanswered Prayers........Most of my life I have believed in the power of prayer. Most of my prayers have been answered (or I have understood why they were not). It has always been easy to love and trust God: He has been good to me. In the last month, never have so many prayers gone unanswered: tumor growth, leaking CSF, spinal taps, arachnoid villi, and brain shunts. Finally I have been given the opportunity to show God that my love is unconditional; I do not have to "get what I want" to love and trust God. But I did need to prove it to myself.